"Playing" Chess

Being the "little" kid in the family can be hard. Just ask Stockton. There are lots of things that Preston and Emma do that he just isn't ready for. Like homework (he wants to do homework everyday, and when he gets bored with the coloring I give him he usually resorts to doing the kids homework without permission), and rinsing the dishes (he will pull a chair up next to the kids when it is their turn, or at any point during the day, and the end result is ALWAYS a large puddle on the floor, and the counter, and everything within reach getting wet), and playing the big kid games (he loves Buzz Yahtzee, and Candy Land, and even Pretty Pretty Princess, but can't understand why he doesn't get to play chess with Daddy, or Pay Day with Mom.) After a frustrating day of being "Too Little" to do may activities, he set up his own game, and Daddy even played along. They had a great game of "Chess" and in the end they were laughing and launching pieces across the room (the kid should be on a wrecking crew someday).

Here he is giving a full explanation of how to play. Notice in the Stockton version, you only need half of a playing board. He set all the pieces up by himself, and then pulled Daddy over to play! It was awesome!

The concentration. It must be a well thought out move!

I dare you to tell me that isn't cute! Stockton is definitely one that marches to the beat of his own drum! Thanks for proving that there is a way for "little" kids to play chess too!

Thought for the day

"Sometimes, when I think I want something more, I remember that I need to learn to value what I have-the Lord Himself gave it all to me." Lidia Evgenevna Shmakova, January 2010 Ensign, article entitled How We Learned About Happiness

Today I'll focus on counting my blessings rather than wishing for all the things I don't have. It's all about focus this year, and this is definitely an area where I need to improve.

Her Diabolical Plan

Emma and I LOVE to fight over Stuart. Really, it's something we do for fun! When he gets home and I go to kiss him, she rushes in and tries to get between us. I'll say "MY DADDY" and hold him possessively, and she has one of two responses to this, 1. She rushes up, throws herself around him and does her best to push me out of the way, or 2. she put on her pouty face and batts her eyelashes at him while snuggling close to try to get all the attention for herself. Stuart of course loves EVERY second of it! About a week ago I was grocery shopping and had left him home with the kiddos. While I was gone they had this little conversation: (I'll make him read this to see if it needs any editing, but I'm pretty sure these were the words.)

Emma: Dad, Mom says you are fat, and that you should go on The Biggest Loser.
Dad: Really? That doesn't sound very nice! I can't believe Mom would say something like that about me!
Emma: Do you still love her Dad?

Apparently she was delivering the blow of all blows while I was away and couldn't even defend myself. I have NEVER said Stuart is fat in case you are wondering. She just thought she would see if she could get him to love her more than me. The wheels are always turning inside that little head, and I'm going to have to start thinking faster on my feet if I intend to keep up!!!

My Sous Chef

I love to be in the kitchen cooking. I find peace when I can steal an hour or two, take simple ingredients and create something that tastes good. I love trying new recipes (even though they don't always turn out-two nights ago I made a new meal and ended up chucking ALL of it) I love taking old recipes and changing them, or tweaking them to make them better. I love finding new ingredients and figuring out how to use them. Recently Emma has wanted to be my little helper in the kitchen. I can't make anything without her asking to help. When we aren't in a hurry, and when I'm not cooking for therapy I always find a way to let her help. It has been so fun watching her discover the kitchen.

Here she is cutting up bread for French Toast Sticks. She loved this job because I don't usually let her cut anything!
Once I learned to let go of my control issues I realized that we could have a lot of fun in the kitchen creating things together!

These are the images I want to remember of my children's childhood. I want to remember Emma wanting to do ANYTHING to be by my side, and WANTING to help!

This time around we made hamburger helper. (it had been a busy day!) It turned out to be a perfect meal to have help with. I measured everything out, and told her when to add it, but other than that, she was in charge!

Emma, thank you for being persistent and showing mommy that it can be just as fun to have a helper in the kitchen. I love creating with you. Now if we could just get those fairies to show up to do the dishes, life would be perfect!

P.S. Occasionally we get a little more help than we need. Stockton's idea of helping out in the kitchen usually consists of him climbing on the counter to get into the sugar and eat spoonfuls before he gets caught. (I'm horrible when I get focused and "in the zone". It is really easy for me to ignore all that is going on around me, and he has eaten more than his share of sugar!) Once he poured garlic powder into our scrambled eggs while my back was turned. In case you were wondering, garlic powder doesn't really go with scrambled eggs and Banana muffins!

Thought for the day

James E. Faust gave a talk entitled "Instruments in the Hands of God" in 2005. Here are two excerpts from that talk:

"May I suggest that you take your challenges one day at a time. Do the best you can. Look at everything through the lens of eternity. If you do this, life will take on a different perspective."

"Occasionally, however, you are too hard on yourselves. You think that if your offering is not quite perfect, it is not acceptable. I tell you, however, that if you have done your best, which you usually do, your humble offering, whatever it may be, will be acceptable and pleasing to the Lord."

This is my focus for today, or maybe for longer.

Singing In His Sleep

I have to admit that since his death, we, all of us, the entire family have been a little obsessed with Michael Jackson's music. We can't get in the car without Stockton saying "Beat It Mom, Beat It". There are weeks when we listen to Beat It, Black or White, Thriller, and others probably 10 times each! The kids would play them on a continuous loop if I would let them. On Friday we rented the "This Is It" movie. I wasn't sure how it would go over, but they LOVED it. It was actually really interesting and entertaining, and only made me wish he had lived to record his concert because it would have been AMAZING! As odd as he was, and for all of the choices he made that I don't agree with, I have to admit that he was a true artist. To him, music was an art form, not just a way to make more money than I could spend in a lifetime, but a way to express himself. During the movie the kids were singing along, and dancing, and playing the air guitar. Later that night after the kids had gone to bed, Stuart and I were just going to bed ourselves when we heard something coming from the kids room. It didn't last long, and I only figured out what it was after the fact. Preston was singing in his sleep. It was awesome! It took us a minute to realize that he was singing a line from "The Way You Make Me Feel". Stuart and I went to sleep laughing, and Preston thinks its pretty awesome that he even sings Michael Jackson in his sleep.

Just a bit random

I was starting the dishwasher a few minutes ago, and I got to thinking... Do you really need to put soap into the pre-wash cup, or are you just wasting your money using more soap? I told you it was random! But really, is it just a conspiracy to get you to purchase more, thereby increasing their income, or does it really help?

Do you put dish detergent into both cups? And is it called dish detergent? Suddenly that sounds so strange!

(now you see why it's so loud inside my head, I have too much useless crap bouncing around)

"I Believe in Christ; So Come What May"

Life has felt hard lately. Really really hard. There is nothing huge, just a lot of little things all adding up and overwhelming me. I feel like my role as a mother is shifting. I knew how to parent babies and toddlers, it wasn't easy, but it was more physically exhausting. Right now I feel like I'm being challenged emotionally and mentally like never before in my life. They have questions that I don't know how to answer. I'm struggling to find natural consequences for bad behavior. I don't feel like I can have an off day, because when I do, and I spend even an hour not checked in I pay the price. I'm trying to read books, and I'm praying constantly, but I feel like every day is a struggle to keep my head above water. To top it all off Stuart is so busy, which is great, but it means we don't see him much. Last week he wasn't home one night before the kids were in bed. I don't resent him, I'm just tired. He had NOTHING to do on Saturday (Shocking) and he told me to take off. I decided to head to the temple. It has been over a year since I have been within the walls of the temple, and that was a huge mistake on my part. My time there was beautiful and spiritual and filling. My soul was fed. I went with questions, and my heart was full of turmoil. The only way I can explain it is to say that it was very loud inside of my head, because of all the things I'm trying to sort through and thinking about constantly. My brain is chaos. This is what I took into the temple. What I brought out was a whole different story. I didn't get any definite answers, and the path wasn't suddenly illuminated, but I felt peace. My mind and soul felt calm and quiet. It's been so long since they felt that way that I didn't really recognize the feeling. I felt like I was breathing again. Last Sunday in church we sang "I Believe In Christ" and out of nowhere I found myself focusing on the words. It was in the fourth verse. The words "I Believe in Christ; so come what may" practically jumped off the page and bit me. It wasn't until I was sitting in the stillness of the Celestial room that I remembered those words. It all came together for me in that moment. None of this is easy. Being a mother is the hardest, most frustrating, and exhausting thing I have ever done. Its worth it. They do make me laugh. They do make me smile. We do have a great time together, but that doesn't make the job any easier in the tough moments. The fact is that I do believe in Christ. I do have a firm foundation. I need to get back to the basics. Its time to cut back, and find my peace again. I felt it inside the temple, and now I need to bring it back into my home. We lack that element of peace. If you want fun, and crazy then our house is the place to be, but we lack the balance of the element of peace in our home right now. It only took me a month to set my new years resolution (lets just call it my focus for this year), but I now know that during this year, I want to rediscover peace. Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe none of this makes sense. I Believe in Christ; So Come What May. This is my motto for 2010. I can't control everything, so it's time to let it all go, and focus on the things I can control.